Changes

The winds of change are blowing for the worse, as usual. Shae's left me, with the old "It's just a break!" mentality. Yeah right. Heard that before. I've been talking to Brandi, and she really cares about me. :p She told me the other day that she loved me. What do I say to that?! I have feelings for her, too, but I really don't know if they're love or not. Besides, it not like I could just be with her again, anyway. >:\ Things are way too complicated.

On the positive side, school's pretty darn easy, with nearly no homework, and PLUS Fall Break is this weekend! Woohoo! Mom bought a whole case of Yoohoo, which is totally ROCKIN'. Love me some Yoohoo.

I talked to Shae a bit last night via text, and I got this whole spiel about how she still loves me, but this break feels right. Guess which ex-girlfriend said THAT right before we stopped talking for a year? That's right. Miss Ruble. I miss Shae like I'd miss breathing, but I've been burned before. I'm not keeping my hopes up, I'm keeping my options open.

To be honest, I have feelings for both of them. NO, I would NEVER consider cheating. That's sick. But what can I do?! Shae doesn't want anything to do with me, and Brandi CAN'T have anything to do with me, even though she wants to. I love talking to her, and she makes me happy, but is it really worth all the sneaking around? Shae, on the other hand, has shown me so much beauty in life. She really brought the sunshine when she came, and I love her very much, but lately, being around her was, right before we broke up, like being around the douches who like to play as Falco in Super Smash Bros. It hurt my SOUL.

I've been playing a great X-Bawks game called Earth Defense Force 2017. It's the most simple game ever! Shoot aliens, kill crap. Sometimes, you have to shoot crap and kill aliens, but always one or the other. There's like a million different weapons to choose from, and you fight approx. ONE BILLION enemies at a time. It's like playing as a character in one of those terrible Japanese B-Movie Sci-Fi flicks, which, despite the obvious, is great.